Breakfast with Maron and Oswalt, Attempting Normal, patent trolls

Good morning Marc Maron and Patton Oswalt.

BTW, Maron's new set of essays, Attempting Normal, pictured here despite the lack of text to wrap around said image (editors note: I found text, it's a "win win"), is now available for pre-order from Amazon and will be at all the usual outlets April 30th, BUT ... even more important at this moment is this from Maron's newsletter this week. A patent troll is descending on the podcasting world right now:

If you all weren’t aware yet you should know that some podcasters are under attack from patent trolls. Adam Carolla is actually being sued. A patent troll called Personal Audio claims to own the patent for podcasting and is suing Adam and some other podcasts and sent letters of coercion to me and about a dozen others. It’s serious bullshit. I know you’re thinking, “How can you patent ‘podcasting?’ That’s ridiculous.” It is ridiculous, even when you look at the patent, but now someone has to pay LOTS of money to prove that.

Patent trolls are companies who don’t make anything or don’t sell anything, but own patents and use them as a weapon to extort money from businesses and individuals, usually demanding licensing fees that are cheaper than actually litigating a case in court. A patent troll uses patents as legal weapons, instead of actually creating any new products or coming up with new ideas. Instead, trolls are in the business of litigation (or even just threatening litigation). The business model works because patent litigation is so expensive—often costing well into the millions of dollars. This means that when facing the threat of a patent suit, many will choose to settle instead of fight. Of course, this just further emboldens the patent trolls.

Podcasters are uniting to figure out a course of action and help each other. The EFF has been helping us and also asking us to help them support new legislation called the SHIELD Act to make Patent Trolling less prevalent. Please go here eff.org/shield and let your representatives know how you feel.

I may need more of your help around this problem in upcoming months. I will let you know.

For more on patent trolls from the Electronic Frontier Foundation, click here.

All the ideas for posts for this blog I had this week while doing other things

I was, uh ... busy.

Yeah, that's right, that's the ticket. (For you kids, that's a quote from a Jon Lovitz SNL character that I still enjoy, though I no longer enjoy Lovitz.

1) Wednesday's TV aliens are very different. In The Americans, the aliens are Soviet era spies. On The Neighbors there are actual extraplanetary aliens yet still spies of a sort. We know the endgame for the Soviets, we have no idea what will happen when "Jackie Joyner Kersee" and "Larry Bird" (they're all named after famous athletes) complete their mission. So, what's the more interesting show? Huh? Nah, I'm just kidding. They're both good though. Say what you want about high concept comedies, but they have been a part of the TV landscape forever, whether it's Gilligan embarking on a three hour tour of the harbor or a Park Ave. lawyer and his Hungarian wife getting back to nature in Hooterville. Yes, I also kind of admired
that Cavemen series. Not saying it was great, saying I admired the attempt. One other thing The Neighbors has is a child actor who bares a striking resemblance not only in look but in tone to Emo Phillips. And he's perfect in this. His name is Ian Patrick (pictured) and you might have seen him recently in David Wain's Wanderlust (playing on cable).

Leonard Nimoy has a more exciting life than you do

Heading East soon to see Mr. Quinto in "Glass Menagerie" Shut out by snowstorm at last attempt. Great play. Great performances.LLAP
— Leonard Nimoy (@TheRealNimoy) February 21, 2013

Here's a big LLAP to all. Wish I could respond individually.
— Leonard Nimoy (@TheRealNimoy) February 21, 2013

Am I right? Here's a link to the production's site. It's at A.R.T. in Cambridge through March 17.

Spock getting on a plane and going to see Spock is as close as we'll get in America to Tom Baker and David Tennant having a drinks party, which would look like this but indoors and without shopping bags.

 

That structure is the right color, but it's six-sided. What would you call a six-sided tardis?

Walking Dead star Norman Reedus on cast "death dinners"

I don't watch The Walking Dead but you do and that's why you're here. I do watch VH1 Big Morning Buzz Live With Carrie Keagan, so here, this is for you, in two parts, both after the jump.

Last night's network TV ratings tells you everything you need to know

Both NCIS and NCIS: LA attracted more viewers last night than shows on ABC, NBC, Fox & CW...combined.
— Joe Adalian (@TVMoJoe) February 20, 2013

Adalian writes for Vulture at New York Magazine, more of him at this link.

That means NCIS beat the combined ratings totals of The Taste on ABC, Hart of Dixie on The CW, two half hours of Betty White's Off Their Rockers AND a Raising Hope (new)/New Girl (repeat) hour on Fox.

AND ... NCIS LA beat the combined ratings of The Bachelor on ABC, the premiere of Cult on The CW, The New Normal and Go On on NBC AND New Girl/Mindy Project on Fox.

That is remarkable. And frankly, I don't see the NCIS family of show getting any less competitive. This scheme of blanketing USA Network with reruns during the day really works for the show, they keep picking up viewers 10 seasons later.

On top of that they're shooting a backdoor pilot for a new NCIS, a traveling version, with John Corbett in the lead.

LA Times: In "NCIS: Red," a mobile teams of agents are forced to live and work together as they solve crimes around the country. The back-door pilot will air as an episode of "NCIS: LA" this spring. Should it perform well and get a full-fledged series order, it will be the third series in the "NCIS" universe.

Juggernaut!

Anthony Jeselnik is giving you a hard seven ... minutes of his new show tonight on Comedy Central

You've got just over two hours in the east and five in the west before The Jeselnik Offensive starts. Guests tonight are Amy Schumer and Aziz Ansari.

If you haven't seen Jeselnik's stand up it's all over YouTube.

Ah, but what could have been ... I had an idea for a project for Anthony. By night he's a stand up comic, by day however he is the superhero Jizzleneck, who shows up whenever a dangerous situation arises and the solution is a pearl necklace.

Get it? Jizzleneck? Pearl necklace? Right?

Perfect idea, I thought. But there's a project at Logo with James Adomian called Rosebud based on Orson Welles' bathhouse years that's supposedly exactly like it.

Timing is everything in Hollywood. 

Kelly Clarkson responds to details from upcoming Clive Davis memoir

Interesting Internet posting from Kelly Clarkson today on news that Clive Davis is releasing a memoir. That memoir apparently includes a story about Kelly crying when Davis demanded Since You've Been Gone be on her debut album, a story Clarkson denies.

From her statement:

First, he says I burst into "hysterical sobbing" in his office when he demanded Since You Been Gone be on my album. Not true at all. His stories and songs are mixed up. I did want more guitars added to the original demo and Clive did not. Max, Luke and I still fought for the bigger sound and we prevailed and I couldn't be more proud of the life of that song. I resent him dampening that song in any way.

But, yes, I did cry in his office once. I cried after I played him a song I had written about my life called "Because Of You." I cried because he hated it and told me verbatim that I was a "sh*tty writer who should be grateful for the gifts that he bestows upon me." He continued on about how the song didn't rhyme and how I should just shut up and sing. This was devastating coming from a man who I, as a young girl, considered a musical hero and was so honored to work with. But I continued to fight for the song and the label relented. And it became a worldwide hit. He didn't include that in the book. 

It would be her sixth top ten single and would sell almost 2 million digit copies.  

There's more in the statement about the My December album and conflict about that. You should read it. When you're reading that know that Clarkson already did a round of interviews regretting that situation but Davis, who btw doesn't need to write a memoir and certainly doesn't NEED to include Clarkson in it (except to try to remain relevant as an 80-year-old billionaire).

Good for her standing up for herself in a business where someone like Davis can beat the shit (figuratively) out of an artist. Brave of her. 

Go buy some Kelly Clarkson music, support this!

You can watch the Because of You video after the jump here. It's a great song. Clive was wrong.