I'm just a boy standing in front of a TV watching nation asking it to love my shows

(So I'm gonna try doing this again and spending way way way less time on Twitter hurling penis-size jokes at politicians with pompadours. Yeah, that's me.)

The Americans on FX is so good. Very compelling subject matter. KGB agents live among us in DC ... AND across the street from an FBI agent brand new to counter-intelligence work. I just totally buy it. The 80s stuff works and Matthew Rhys is great and by the second commercial break in the pilot Keri Russell had me convinced she was a socialist Soviet loyal ready to kill and screw her way to world domination.

(I haven't watched last night's episode yet, do not spoil Margo Martindale's debut for me.) Fortunately the numbers for The Americans have been good and it looks to be safe as the network that airs it is good about sticking it out with great projects.

This is not the case with ABC's comedies. Both Don't Trust the B and Happy Endings are gone now Happy Endings just moved to Fridays where they'll burn two eps a night, Don't Trust the B is so gone they aren't EVEN burning out the completed episodes.

So here I am once again after a long hiatus from this thankless task of stumping for shows telling you I'm just a boy standing in front of a TV watching nation asking it to love my shows. Because I have to, apparently.

Also, I'll be campaigning constantly for my pals in the business. Because I can. So there will be lots of VH1 Big Morning Buzz Live with Carrie Keagan among other things.

You can find me at @JoeWatchesTV on Twitter.

And we're off ...

Drive: New Music from 30 Rock/Glee star Cheyenne Jackson

Upside? Great song, excellent performance. Downside? It's an animated video, no Cheyenne Jackson to look at while you listen to him. That's a shame. Still, I love the song. And it's available on iTunes at this link.

Enjoy!

Where I critique the Fall Sked NBC just released

Look, it's Matthew Perry and his new friends. Go On premieres this fall.

The schedule is as it appears in this Hollywood Reporter story. New shows in bold.

You can see trailers for every one of the new shows at this link.

And here we go ...

Sunday (post football):  Dateline, Fashion Star, Celebrity Apprentice, Do No Harm 

I don't really have any use for these returning shows.

Do No Harm is a modern take on Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. BBC One did a great one with James Nesbitt and Gina Bellman in 2007, do we need another? I guess that's up to lead Steven Pasquale (Rescue Me). The show will ride on his performance. I'll check it out, I got nothing going on Sunday nights at 10.

Monday: The Voice, Revolution

The network is pushing for two cycles of The Voice each year, using a different set of judges. I hope one of those judges catches fire and they call him or her up to the first show to replace that nasty drunk Christina Aguilera. I don't watch reality competition shows as a rule, there's way too much very compelling dramas and comedies for me to waste my time.

Revolution is about a world where all the methods of creating energy are rendered useless. How'd it happen? Is it the end of the world? Who would have the ability to pull this off? Are they from here? Somewhere else? Will someone create a perpetual motion machine? It's from J.J. Abrams and action begins 15 years after this has happened. Apocalyptic aspects assured. Features Giancarlo Esposito who is coming off some great TV roles on Breaking Bad and Once Upon A Time. I'll check it out.

Tuesday: The Voice, Go On, The New Normal, Parenthood

Why can't reality competition shows just happen on one night? Rand Corporation, work on this, okay?

Go On. Okay I will. Stars Matthew Perry as a sportscaster of some sort. I thought he was playing a sports radio call in show host. I can't get an answer so I tweeted the source. There's just one other guy in the core cast which I thought was strange but I'm good with it. Perry's character Ryan Nolastnameatthistime has just lost his wife and these (photo top of post) I guess are the people who help him with that. There's also a grief group component. Scott Silveri from Friends wrote the pilot and exec produces with Todd Holland.

Bryan and David are a couple. They hire a surrogate to have a child for them. Ellen Barkin is someone's mom. And it's a comedy. Justin Bartha and Andrew Rannells (The Book of Mormon on Broadway) star in this comedy from Ryan Murphy. Nene Leakes is in this. I guess Nene as actress is gonna happen . I can't imagine how the throngs of black actresses waiting to be on TV feel about that. I imagine not so great. This and Perry's shows definitely make my own personal schedule.

Parenthood's back. I find I don't connect to this and Modern Family the way other people of my age do. Great cast, I'm sure they knock it out of the park. It's just not for me.

Click past the break for Wednesday through Saturday.

DVR: I am a live + 7 kinda guy. Or maybe a live +14?

(Note: This isn't MY DVR screen. My screen doesn't look anywhere near as good as this because my Time Warner Cable area hasn't been upgraded since the Rigas family went to jail and their bought the territory from Adelphia. Damn you Time Warner!)

I still have The Social Network on my DVR from July last year. I'll watch it, eventually. On my TV Jesse Eisenberg never ages a day. I would chuckle about that but people might get the very wrong idea.

I recorded the series finale of The Finder last night. Might not watch it for a while. I tend to do that will finales, series or season. Still haven't watched the Downton Abbey Christmas episode. The Fringe finale is different, all my fellow nerds will be blabbin' about it online so if I don't watch that quickly it'll "spoil on the shelf." And I hate waste.

The Finder was solid. Nice tone, quick pace ... very much like Bones, where it was born. I like Geoff Stultz, I was pretty sure this was what would make him a household name finally. I was wrong. Last year Mark Valley was in the same position with Human Target. I watched every episode of The Finder. You guys missed out.

You gotta wonder, are these solid hour dramas from Fox decimated by a schedule that has to work around three multi-night reality competition shows?

Craig Ferguson's doing this thing before his first guest recently. The marching thing with the horse. Yes, something about this makes me very happy. Here they are marching before welcoming Patton Oswalt who came by to promote his Comedy Central hour that you can get on DVD from a number of sellers including these.






I especially love when he gets makeup and hair people Tien and Lisa to join in, but only for the clusterfuck that happens when they all try to turn at the same time. It would make Ernie Kovacs proud.

Tonight's Graham Norton (BBC America, 11p eastern) has a bunch of Brits on the panel, most notably Jessie J. for Americans watching. Also a "football" hottie (read soccer) Didier Drogba and comic Simon Amstell (two Ls, he is not the beer magnate). Clip below.

Enjoy your Saturday.

I have returned after a very long absence. Booyah!

So I decided right now is the time that I'm gonna "start writing more in my blog." Of course, it's also just 10 minutes until I have to leave to pick up a pizza so this is gonna be a short one.

So, more posts here, more clips, more Joe watching TV. Tonight I'll make some sort of official record about what I've watched and what I'm recording. My DVR seems to be rebelling I should tell you. Didn't record today's ep of VH1 Big Morning Buzz Live for some reason. The Soup doesn't record automatically anymore, I have to set it each Wednesday.

I'd turn it in for a new one but I have 51% of it full o' stuff. Good stuff.

I'll write more later, or tomorrow. Or maybe I don't come back again for months.

Video -- The Tosh.0 gay porn parody you knew would happen

It's called Tosh.Hole and here's some sex-free footage from the DVD from Jet Set Productions.

Ryan Lynch stars as Tosh. Buy it at this VERY NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK OR KIDS link at JetSetMen.com.

The Kardashian/Romney/Komen Foundation smackdown you've been waiting for, from the Today Show

Finally, someone said it the way I would say it. Thank you Donnie Deutsch for calling out topless Kardashians for what it is, an act of desperation.

And good on the Today Show, also part of the Comcast NBC/Universal family, for letting him say it.

And while they were at it, here's to someone that I hardly ever align myself with, one Star Jones (who's married more gay men than I have). Both Star and Nancy Snyderman pounce on the "I don't care about the poor" Republican candidate news while reminding Mittens Romney (or RMoney as I call him, on Twitter at @MittRmoney) that part of that social safety net was the free and low cost cancer screenings at Planned Parenthood offices.

That used to be funded by Komen For the Cure but won't be anymore as that group was hijacked by evangelical Christians that don't like Planned Parenthood because 3% of PP's business is providing abortions, which the last time I checked was STILL LEGAL in this country.

PP donation link HERE.

Not just legal, it's no one's decision to make except the woman who's pregnant.

So, no cancer screenings will just increase the amount of cancer not caught early which will result in even more medical spending than before, most of those occurrences happening with people with no health insurance. It's either be taxpayers paying that differential or ... women will just die.

And none of them will be Kardashians.

Is that what Komen and Romney want? Because that's what they've got.