Leonard Nimoy has a more exciting life than you do

Am I right? Here's a link to the production's site. It's at A.R.T. in Cambridge through March 17.

Spock getting on a plane and going to see Spock is as close as we'll get in America to Tom Baker and David Tennant having a drinks party, which would look like this but indoors and without shopping bags.

That structure is the right color, but it's six-sided. What would you call a six-sided tardis?


Walking Dead star Norman Reedus on cast "death dinners"

I don't watch The Walking Dead but you do and that's why you're here. I do watch VH1 Big Morning Buzz Live With Carrie Keagan, so here, this is for you, in two parts, both after the jump.

Last night's network TV ratings tells you everything you need to know

Adalian writes for Vulture at New York Magazine, more of him at this link.

That means NCIS beat the combined ratings totals of The Taste on ABC, Hart of Dixie on The CW, two half hours of Betty White's Off Their Rockers AND a Raising Hope (new)/New Girl (repeat) hour on Fox.

AND ... NCIS LA beat the combined ratings of The Bachelor on ABC, the premiere of Cult on The CW, The New Normal and Go On on NBC AND New Girl/Mindy Project on Fox.

That is remarkable. And frankly, I don't see the NCIS family of show getting any less competitive. This scheme of blanketing USA Network with reruns during the day really works for the show, they keep picking up viewers 10 seasons later.

On top of that they're shooting a backdoor pilot for a new NCIS, a traveling version, with John Corbett in the lead.

LA Times: In "NCIS: Red," a mobile teams of agents are forced to live and work together as they solve crimes around the country. The back-door pilot will air as an episode of "NCIS: LA" this spring. Should it perform well and get a full-fledged series order, it will be the third series in the "NCIS" universe.



Anthony Jeselnik is giving you a hard seven ... minutes of his new show tonight on Comedy Central

You've got just over two hours in the east and five in the west before The Jeselnik Offensive starts. Guests tonight are Amy Schumer and Aziz Ansari.

If you haven't seen Jeselnik's stand up it's all over YouTube.

Ah, but what could have been ... I had an idea for a project for Anthony. By night he's a stand up comic, by day however he is the superhero Jizzleneck, who shows up whenever a dangerous situation arises and the solution is a pearl necklace.

Get it? Jizzleneck? Pearl necklace? Right?

Perfect idea, I thought. But there's a project at Logo with James Adomian called Rosebud based on Orson Welles' bathhouse years that's supposedly exactly like it.

Timing is everything in Hollywood. 

Kelly Clarkson responds to details from upcoming Clive Davis memoir

Interesting Internet posting from Kelly Clarkson today on news that Clive Davis is releasing a memoir. That memoir apparently includes a story about Kelly crying when Davis demanded Since You've Been Gone be on her debut album, a story Clarkson denies.

From her statement:
First, he says I burst into "hysterical sobbing" in his office when he demanded Since You Been Gone be on my album. Not true at all. His stories and songs are mixed up. I did want more guitars added to the original demo and Clive did not. Max, Luke and I still fought for the bigger sound and we prevailed and I couldn't be more proud of the life of that song. I resent him dampening that song in any way.

But, yes, I did cry in his office once. I cried after I played him a song I had written about my life called "Because Of You." I cried because he hated it and told me verbatim that I was a "sh*tty writer who should be grateful for the gifts that he bestows upon me." He continued on about how the song didn't rhyme and how I should just shut up and sing. This was devastating coming from a man who I, as a young girl, considered a musical hero and was so honored to work with. But I continued to fight for the song and the label relented. And it became a worldwide hit. He didn't include that in the book. 
It would be her sixth top ten single and would sell almost 2 million digit copies.  

There's more in the statement about the My December album and conflict about that. You should read it. When you're reading that know that Clarkson already did a round of interviews regretting that situation but Davis, who btw doesn't need to write a memoir and certainly doesn't NEED to include Clarkson in it (except to try to remain relevant as an 80-year-old billionaire).

Good for her standing up for herself in a business where someone like Davis can beat the shit (figuratively) out of an artist. Brave of her. 

Go buy some Kelly Clarkson music, support this!

You can watch the Because of You video after the jump here. It's a great song. Clive was wrong.

Little show, big heart, dirty mind, generous star ... Legit on FX

Spent last night catching up on Legit on FX. You should certainly be watching this show. It does a lot of things really well. Not only does it translate Australian comedian Jim Jefferies' stage persona very well but it does that while making the show a true ensemble which is a testament to Jefferies' generosity and good sense.The series creators are Jim and Peter O'Fallon, with episodes written by the two with Rick Cleveland (The West Wing, Six Feet Under, Runaway Jury).

Not only does Legit give a lot of time to its supporting cast, that cast is comprised of performers that don't always get cast in roles that let them explore a characters' issues and boundaries. Dan Bakkedahl plays Jim's best friend Steve Nugent and DJ Qualls gets the best role of is career as Steve's brother Billy who lives with muscular dystrophy.

In the pilot episode Jim and Steve break Billy out of his board and care facility against the wishes of his mom (the amazing Mindy Sterling who you know from the Austin Powers films who again, with Bakkedahl and Qualls ... GETS TO ACT!) and they take him to a Nevada brothel to lose his virginity.

(Wish I could give you a clip from it but I can't find one online. There's a very sweet scene with the working girl who takes on the job of devirginizing Billy that also informs us that Billy has a huge penis. Having a huge penis btw is -- well good for you if you got one first of all, but also it's been a plot point in a lot of movies and TV shows lately and not just that MTV series that came and went so fast. There was Hung on HBO and Big Dick Ritchie in Magic Mike and there are more that escape me currently.)

From there we've seen Jim and Steve continue to normalize Billy's life, pulling him out of the facility to live with them in what isn't the nicest place in Los Angeles but looks affordable, which is novel for a TV show.

More, including a full episode and a preview of Thursday's episode, after the jump.


Tomorrow Morning with Carrie

Big Morning Buzz Live with Carrie Keagan tomorrow at 10 eastern/pacific on VH1.

Entertainment Tonight hires Michael Jackson's 16-year-old son to report from film junkets

Luke Russert, Jenna Bush, Chelsea Clinton ...

I gotta think the producers of Oz, The Great & Powerful were thrilled when their actors showed up for the junket and Prince Michael Jackson, the 16-year-old son of the deceased pop star, was sitting there waiting to ask questions. And not just questions about their movie which they are paying to promote.

Hollywood Reporter: "Jackson's duties at the Oz junket included interviewing director Sam Raimi and actors James Franco and Zach Braff. He asked the trio for advice on how to get started in the entertainment business."

Yeah, they must have loved that! Who wants to talk about a movie they spent years putting together when you can give a pudgy kid who might actually be the son of a Beverly Hills dermatologist and not the son of a famous person advice on getting into movies.

Great job, ET! Maybe you can send Blanket to the premiere to work the red carpet.

STUFF TO KNOW! WGA winners, Sean Hayes on NBC, Maddow/McCain, Mehcad Brooks, Han Solo

Han Solo returns! Harrison Ford signs for new JJ Abrams Star Wars film.

Mehcad Brooks: "It's Not OK to Be Homophobic, Racist or Sexist," the former True Blood star currently working on USA's Necessary Roughness tells Huff Post Live. Rod 2.0 reports.

The Rachel Maddow show blog this morning on John McCain's squirrely Meet the Press appearance and still pushing accusations of wrongdoing in Benghazi.

Tom Lennon (your Lt. Dangle from Reno 911 and a great filmmaker) will costar with Sean Hayes in his pilot for NBC, directed by Jim Burrows and written by Victor Fresco. It's practically an all-star team. Looking forward to seeing this.

Among the WGA winners last night was my Facebook friend Michael Cyril Creighton, who won for his web series Jack In A Box. I was also excited about wins for Louie on FX and Portlandia on IFC.

Catch the premiere episode of Jack In A Box when you click to the rest of this post.

Khloe Kardashian is now an ex-X Factor host - NY Post

I didn't watch a moment of X Factor but I'm sad because Khloe is the only one of them I can stand. I actually even think she's a pretty cool gal, but apparently it was not working out.

It's kind of like she's the Dunkleman of this show now.

The NY Post has the breaking story (link).

I just don't want young girls to look at this and think Kim's life is the way to go. Ladies, do not get pregnant before you divorce the previous guy, it's untoward.

Also, if your boyfriend is the guy who jumps up on stage at award shows at strange times you might not be living your life in the best way possible. 

This blog and the Honda Motor Corp. wish you a Happy Slow Jam President's Day

I'm sure that Honda would love to thank Jimmy Fallon and his Slow Jam the News feature for the inspiration. 


Tomorrow morning with Carrie

Alex Karpovsky from HBO's Girls, Alison Brie from Community, singer Willie Moon, comedian Derek Gaines and all the pop culture news and clips and music you can handle at 10 am eastern/pacific on VH1.

SNL: The single best thing - Kate McKinnon

Olga Povlatsky, the hottest woman in her village. Kate McKinnon last night on Saturday Night Live.

What I'm recording: Cartoons, Downton Finale, Robot Chicken

I could show you clips from all the Fox animated shows that are all brand new tonight or ...

... that's right, every Bob's Burgers clip on YouTube (from Fox, you know, the official ones) because you should and you're a good a kind person and you deserve to be entertained and haven't you had a rough weekend and wouldn't comedy so good that it's already been renewed for a fourth season be just the thing to change the trajectory of your three-day weekend that has gone seriously off the rails after that thing with ... well, you know.

Also I'm recording the Downton Abbey finale, but to be frank I haven't watched any of them this season, they still all sit there on the machine taunting me with their need for closed captioning and their actual run times because there are no commercials.

And Robot Chicken's season 6 finale. Always. Los Angeles Times feature on them today at this link. Preview clip? After the jump.

Watch Nathan Fillion host the WGA Awards streaming live at Ustream

So you're finding yourself with nothing to do at about 6 pm pacific time tonight? Right here at my blog you can watch the WGA awards live from a Marriott hotel (booo!) ballroom in downtown LA.

And Nathan Fillion hosts.

The list of TV nominees and the live streaming video from Ustream is after the jump.

Also, if you have a Samsung Smart TV or Smart Blu-ray player you can access Ustream content that way, which is better than hunching yourself over your computer.


What I'm recording: What the hell goes on tonight on Graham Norton, Mark Wahlberg?

See this? Watch the clip. Sarah Silverman and Michael Fassbender are there, too. Seriously, watch the clip. You might think Wahlberg is drunk (because it sure seems like his is) but I think he was just upping the ante for attention with Fassbender there hogging all the hotness. Marky Mark Who?

Christoph Waltz is hosting Saturday Night Live tonight. Germans, SO FUNNY! Right?

Remember when Mike Myers was funny? Dave? Steve? Do you?

Video - "The Church needs a fresh young face, somewhere other than a priest's lap"

From last night's Real Time with Bill Maher, "The fact is that any enterprise that excludes women almost always descends into sexual deviancy, at least at my bathhouse."

It's a good morning for a Sally Draper!

If you're in Brooklyn stop by Two8Two Burger at Atlantic Ave. and Jay St. for one.

Hat tip to Mark Graham on Twitter.


All the Oscar prep you need, ALL OF IT, fits Between Two Ferns

Let Zach Galifianakis get you ready for Sunday night's Oscar telecast with this special two part Between Two Ferns Academy Award edition.

Entertainment Weekly's interactive online Oscar ballot at this link for those of you who play along at home.

Funny or Die Between Two Ferns clips after the jump are exec produced by Comedy Bang Bang creator Scott Aukerman.

What I'm recording: Jenny McC's last chance, homes in Lisbon, Portlandia

Here's what my DVR is doing tonight:

Portlandia: Here's a preview clip.

House Hunters International: They're in Lisbon, Portugal. Not one of my favorite international locales but whatever. I prefer Scandinavian episodes, the furniture in those homes is always so nice.

Click: BBC World's tech show. There's no more Attack of the Show! and it seems this is the only place to go for this kinda news. Runs all weekend on the channel.

The Jenny McCarthy Show: Jenny, this is your last chance. Watched the pilot of your new VH1 talk show and when you weren't being bleeped (there were whole segments of the show where I didn't know what you were talking about) ... you were talking over each other and I couldn't understand a thing. That woman with the shelf of an ass (Miss Joseline, I believe) was the most interesting part of your premiere and I'm gay. Fix this! If this show stays on the air while Whitney Cummings' E! talker was canceled there's no justice in this world.

The Late Late Show w/ Craig Ferguson: Craig has Mario Lopez tonight, prompting this very revealing image of Mario from when he lost a Super Bowl bet and had to run through his office (The Grove shopping center in Los Angeles) in his underwear (you're welcome). A couple of nights ago Craig had Girls star Allison Williams and you can watch that below.

Billy On The Street preview: "It's Debra Messing, you gays!"

Tonight on Fuse (that's on cable, it's the music channel that isn't MTV, which frankly isn't much of a music channel, either). Here's Billy Eichner dragging the former Will & Grace star around the Flatiron district to see who gets excited.

Five Tweets: Star Wars, Liam "Nissan", Azealia Banks, Jackie Collins

50 years = all eleven doctors

As we ramp up for the return of Doctor Who in the UK & the US and for the first time one day later in South Africa and Poland (go Doctor Who you world wide phenomenon you!) there's "news" from a British tabloid that all 11 doctors will be seen in the 50th anniversary episode.

I would have been happy with 9 through 11. In fact, if we get 9 (Christopher Eccleston) at all I'll be thrilled, he's my first doctor. Thrilled? Shocked, too. He's not been, uh, amenable to it all since he bolted at the end of the of the first RTD season. These words were exchanged between Eccleston and a red carpet reporter in the UK back in November.

UK Mirror:

Doctors of old Tom Baker, 79, Peter Davison, 61, Colin Baker, 69, Sylvester McCoy, 69, Paul McGann, 53, Christopher Eccleston, 48, and David Tennant. 41, are thought to have agreed to take part alongside current star Matt Smith, 30.

This week writer and producer Steven Moffat – who is notoriously secretive – admitted: “Getting the other Doctors involved would be very fitting for the anniversary episode, wouldn’t it?”

He is still writing the special, which is due to be filmed this spring.

The plot is a fiercely-guarded secret, but Moffat said the fact the original show was delayed by more than a minute by an extended news bulletin would be referenced.
We'll see.

BTW, that package of all 11 doctors in the 5" action figure size are available at Amazon


Tomorrow morning w/Carrie ... Jillian Michaels, Jackie Collins, more

Start you mornings with Carrie, Jason Dundas and their guests. And watch this Jay Oakerson clip I'm posting below. You might remember Jay from the IFC series Z Rock. In fact, although Adam Pally is often credited as the first actor to portray an very atypical gay man on a comedy series it was actually Jay in Z Rock. He's at a lot of NYC clubs. I know he's been working The Stand a lot, a new club on 3rd Ave. and 19th St. that's getting great talent coming in and I hear great food.

Today on Big Morning Buzz Live you could have seen Gavin DeGraw & Colbie Caillat sing their new song from the Beautiful Creatures soundtrack. Or you could just watch it now. Click below for that and set your DVR tonight for tomorrow's show. 10 am e on VH1.

What I'm recording: It's Halloween on Community! Wait, What?

Here's what my DVR is doing tonight:

House Hunters International: They're in Beverley, England with what I'm sure with be either an American couple demanding an open floor plan with all the original country charm or affable Canadians who are way more amenable to anything and everything including a flock of sheep that live in the third bedroom (not really).

It's Halloween at Greendale! I know, don't get me started. Here's a clip. Community at 8pm e on NBC.

Anthony Edwards has made you laugh and cry many times throughout his career. He deserves your eyes for an hour tonight on CBS if you are so inclined. The show is called Zero Hour and Tim Goodman is hopeful after watching the pilot and I'm gonna be too despite not seeing it yet.

Also tonight, Parks and Recreation on NBC, Chelsea Lately has Julianne Hough (meh) but they did this last night.

Then Archer, Legit and Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell, and then as always a little Craig Ferguson to top off the night. But that's it. Really. I'm done after that.

Unless you count all the YouTube clips I favorited today to watch tonight on the big screen via Samsung apps, but I never really get to those.

I'm just a boy standing in front of a TV watching nation asking it to love my shows

(So I'm gonna try doing this again and spending way way way less time on Twitter hurling penis-size jokes at politicians with pompadours. Yeah, that's me.)

The Americans on FX is so good. Very compelling subject matter. KGB agents live among us in DC ... AND across the street from an FBI agent brand new to counter-intelligence work. I just totally buy it. The 80s stuff works and Matthew Rhys is great and by the second commercial break in the pilot Keri Russell had me convinced she was a socialist Soviet loyal ready to kill and screw her way to world domination.

(I haven't watched last night's episode yet, do not spoil Margo Martindale's debut for me.) Fortunately the numbers for The Americans have been good and it looks to be safe as the network that airs it is good about sticking it out with great projects.

This is not the case with ABC's comedies. Both Don't Trust the B and Happy Endings are gone now Happy Endings just moved to Fridays where they'll burn two eps a night, Don't Trust the B is so gone they aren't EVEN burning out the completed episodes.

So here I am once again after a long hiatus from this thankless task of stumping for shows telling you I'm just a boy standing in front of a TV watching nation asking it to love my shows. Because I have to, apparently.

Also, I'll be campaigning constantly for my pals in the business. Because I can. So there will be lots of VH1 Big Morning Buzz Live with Carrie Keagan among other things.

You can find me at @JoeWatchesTV on Twitter.

And we're off ...